Ok, maybe it’s because I’m at an age now where every time I land a new writing client, I feel like a million bucks. “What, you want me to write about tree bark toilet paper? Sure, no sweat. Been writing about it all my life”. I know I’ve never written about it before, but I still have to make my clients look and sound like genius’s. That’s the life of a ghost writer. But I’m thrilled to be writing anything. So I’m not writing the great American novel. Yes, I tried but I have these strange beings in my house who seem to think they have to eat everyday AND wear clean clothes. Man!!!

I like to rummage through the various sites for writers all across the Internet. Most writers forums are basically like walking into a bookstore full of those uppity-ups that think their smarter than you because they use big words. Hey buddy, read my lips, unless you’re making a million bucks telling everyone else what they’re doing wrong, shut the hell up. I have no patients for people who think their better than everyone else, especially when they’re 20 years younger than I am. No, I didn’t go to Harvard or Yale, but I pushed two living, breathing human beings out of my body and I did it without drugs. I wanted drugs, but that’s a different story.

I guess I’m just getting old. I hate getting old, but at the same time I’m starting to see some advantages to it. I now understand all those weird sayings that used to come out of my father’s mouth. I’m finally at an age where I can look forward to my children moving out on their own, and actually enjoy the idea. I’m almost old enough to qualify for life insurance without a medical exam, and I can finally tell my mother to quit complaining because “I have the same problem and bitching don’t help”.

I guess my problem isn’t with the pieces that these young writers are putting out there, I have an issue with the way they do it. I never thought I’d be the “old chic” sitting in the back of the room wondering why the hell I came to this show. I always imagined myself the young, hip chic who knew it all. Well, I finally do know it all. Too bad I lost all the damn questions.